My Testimony–Part 1 Marriage

The basics: My husband grew up in a Christian home, always in church, until they went to Africa for two and half years, where he went to British Boarding School. He didn’t know God then, only knew about Him. His parents were in the upper middle class economically.

I was not raised in church. My family was poor, especially after my dad had to retire from the the shipyard at age 47 due to emphysema. I knew very little about God. Never heard the gospel until I was 23 years old, thanks to my husband’s younger sister.

So we weren’t Christians when we got married (Christian means follower of Jesus Christ: it’s not a denomination or a religion; it’s a relationship with our Lord and Savior.).

I had a terrible temper and I had zero self-confidence. My husband joined the military to provide a living for our growing family. I was pregnant when we got married.

His first assignment was a weather cutter ship that stayed out to sea for thirty to forty days at a time. It would then come into port for seven days, two of which had to be spent aboard ship: 48 hours. I was young, clingy, naive, and I missed my husband.

I was a master at complaining and criticizing. But he was gone most of the time and didn’t hear much of it. We were okay. His next duty station was a small boat station and most of his friends were single guys. He didn’t want to spend much time with me and, since I had no driver’s license I had no way to go anywhere. I was stuck at home taking care of our son and babysitting other people’s kids. But we were sort of okay.

His re-enlistment bonus would have been a year of isolated duty in Alaska. He didn’t re-enlist. While he was waiting to be out-processed he sent our son and me home to his parents’ house to wait for him. He called every day, and they would give him a date when he could leave the base, then cancel it because the paperwork got lost. Meanwhile, my sister-in–law was working on me to “get saved.” I didn’t know what that meant but she took me to a Billy Graham movie and I saw my own attitudes and self-loathing in the main character’s life. An invitation was given at the end for people to come forward and ask Jesus to be their Lord and Savior. I did and I have never been sorry. Unfortunately, that was not the end of my troubles. I was sabotaging my marriage without knowing it.

A few days after I got saved I was really concerned for my husband. He was really getting depressed. I prayed that night before I went to bed and asked God to show me when my husband was coming home so I could have his favorite meal prepared. That night I dreamed I received a telegram that said my husband would be home on Friday. The telegram wasn’t signed but I knew who sent it. The next morning I asked my mother-in-law to stop by the grocery store and pick up the necessary ingredients for me to fix his favorite meal. She did. My husband walked in the door late that night. Our son was in bed; his parents were out at various meetings. I had him all to myself and his supper was ready.

He didn’t go to church with me at first, but I was always so excited to go to church, and so eager to go back, he was sure I had a boyfriend there. One Sunday he decided to go with me to see who it was. He got saved that day and we were baptized together the following Sunday. A young man in the church immediately approached my husband after the service and offered to have Bible study with us once a week. It was great except that my enthusiasm kept my husband from participating. I kept jumping in with questions. The men didn’t stop me and it never occurred to me that I was being self-centered and getting in the way of my husband’s learning.

He tried to get a job in the civilian world but nothing seemed to pan out. He was getting frustrated and left me for a while. I took our son and went home to my parents. I got a job during the Christmas season, praying all the while that God would bring my husband back to me. I was going to church and reading my Bible, learning a lot about God.

Part 2 Tomorrow.

How To Develop Serious Health Problems

Disclaimer: not all health problems are the result of the things mentioned in this post, but the things mentioned here will cause health issues at some point in your life, if you don’t take the remedy. Even if you do take the remedy, it may not heal the health issue.

Steps to ulcers, heart disease, mental illness, and a host of other diseases:

1) Keep an account of every slight, every wrong ever done to you, and by whom

2) Dwell on them. Let them fester.

3) Be sure to pay back in kind.

4) Never let anyone who has slighted you forget how they hurt you.

5) Keep people at arms length; don’t let them get too close. Don’t open yourself up to hurt.

6) Gossip. Be sure to tell everyone you know how so-and-so treated you, even if it was years ago.

7) Don’t just give the facts when gossiping: expand the details to make them more juicy. Remember, you’re feeding them verbal poison.

8) Never let yourself forgive.

9) Don’t let yourself take any responsibility for what happened. Nothing is ever your fault.

10) Give yourself regular pity parties. You deserve it. You owe it to yourself. Don’t forget to worry over everything that might go wrong, or that may happen in the future. You never know when the past will come back to bite you.

Two of my relatives engaged in these behaviors. My mom could hold a grudge with the best of them. Sometimes she would get to thinking about things her older sister had done to her when they were growing up. Or she would start thinking about some spats she’d had with her father. She would fret and stew about it for days, work herself into a rage, and go on a three-day rampage, daring any of us in our family to get in her way. My mother was also a world-class worrier. She felt responsible for anything that ever went wrong in the world or in our family, although aloud she blamed everyone else. One night while she was at work she noticed, as she was putting up ice cream, that the ice cream freezers had been unplugged. She wasn’t the one who had cleaned them so she wasn’t the one who had unplugged them. Nevertheless, she worried herself into a heart attack, afraid she’d lose her job. She never left the hospital. She had three subsequent strokes, the last one shortly after her 64th birthday.

My aunt (my father’s sister and the wife of my mother’s brother) hated my mother and me because of the fights my parents used to have before they divorced. She hated everyone except her husand. She tolerated her kids, but really wasn’t too thrilled with them either. She died in a nursing home of Alzheimer’s.

Serial Killer II–Writing 101

I lost my mother in 1994. She had had a massive heart attack and three subsequent strokes. Telling her it was okay to let go if that was what was best for her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. My husband and I had planned to re-decorate our son’s old room and make it nice for my mom. I would take care of her. That was the plan after the first stroke. But God had other plans.

My mother and I had not been close for years. Her temper and my lack of understanding kept us off balance with each other. But after my dad died in 1991, my mom began to mellow out. She wasn’t stressed anymore with the care of my dad and trying to keep a job too. She was more relaxed. She missed him, and often cried herself to sleep at night. My family would go to Mom’s house every Friday evening for root beer floats and old movies on TV. I found peace with my mother at last.

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