The Parents’ Rights Activist

Okay, some people are probably going to get upset with me, but I have to ‘speak’ my mind here. Fox News has been reporting for the past couple of days about a 7th grader who created a fake FB page, pretending to be someone else and using a lot of defamitory comments, supposedly from a classmate. The parents found out about it and disciplined the child, which I agree with. I also agree that the site should then have been removed and his computer privileges revoked for at least a year. (If he were my kid that’s exactly what would have happened.)

However, it gets my hot button to turn bright red when I hear anyone saying parents should be held accountable for their kids’ actions. If we still had parents rights in this country I would agree with that. But the government has taken away the rights of parents. The government (and several other agencies including Planned Parenthood, the NOW Organization, and a host of others too mention to name) want to take over our kids and make them socialists, haters of parents, amoral, childless, ruthless people. I have proof. I have a DVD documentary called “AGENDA.” It can be viewed over the internet.

If we want our kids to be decent, moral citizens; if we want them to grow up to be happy, productive adults, we need to take our rights back. Social Services should not have the authority to take our kids away because they get a spanking. (My kids are all grown up, so you bureaucrats can’t take my kids now.) How can the government hold us accountable for our kids’ behavior on one hand, and tell us we have no authority on the other? I think this is called an oxymoron. It’s the same foolishness that calls it a double murder if a pregnant woman is murdered, but it’s not murder if she kills her baby.

Look, Im not judging. Life happens and we make mistakes. God is a loving, forgiving God, but lets call sins by their names so we can move on. You can’t ask forgiveness for something you won’t acknowledge you’ve done wrong. We need to agree with God when we’re wrong, so we can receive His fogiveness and healing about the situation. If you’ve had an abortion, I don’t hate you, or criticize, or judge. You made a choice for whatever your reasons were. God still loves you and wants to heal your pain and heartache over the loss of that child.

I’m not going to get into the abortion debate here. I just wanted to get the parents’ rights issue out there. If you’re a parent, take a stand. Talk to the local authorities and ask them what the local laws are on spanking. It’s what we did when we first brought our daughter and her kids back from another state several years ago. Our local government says it’s okay to spank as long as you don’t leave bruises or stripes.

Studies have shown that if you administer discipline during the toddler and kindergarten years, discipline is required less often as they grow up–until they get to be teenagers and have all the answers.

I’m not saying every kid should be spanked either. Some kids learn just by giving them time out or taking toys away. Some kids are more stubborn than others. Talking rarely works but kids think they are invincible, that nothing bad could ever happen to them. When they grow up with no consequences they end up being miserable adults, blaming all their problems on other people, thinking they deserve to have everything handed to them with no effort of their own.  They also tend to feel unloved (there are always exceptions) so they get into trouble to make someone care about how they live and what they do.

Okay, I’m done ranting. Just want to encourage parents to take a stand and take back their rights. Kids need discipline is some form or another. The Bible says God disciplines His children. It even goes so far as to say that if He doesn’t discipline us, we don’t belong to him. God gave my children to me, not the government. God expects me to raise my children in accordance with His word. He has entrusted them to me. It’s a big responsibility. Now they’re grown and it’s His turn.

Punishment or Discipline?

A football player was recently accused of child abuse because he switched his four-year-old son. The media and psychologists seem to be of the opinion that you should just talk to your children to get them to behave or be respectful. LOOK AT OUR YOUTH TODAY, EXPERTS AND TELL ME HOW THAT’S WORKING! Have you ever tried to reason with a four-year-old? Not going to happen. They are children.

Tell, me, experts–how do you teach a toddler not to hit his brother or sister? As soon as you arent’ looking they’re going to hit. You can talk until your teeth fall out and that child will do as he pleases BECAUSE THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES. When the child goes to school and the teacher gives an assignment, that child may sit in the classroom and refuse to do anything. He knows the teacher can’t make him do anything. His or her hands are tied by government mandate and the ridiculous notion that kids will always do what is right and reasonable.

I do not believe in, nor advocate child abuse, and we don’t have all of the facts in this case. Was the four-year-old continually trying to do something that could cause him injury, in spite of repeated requests not do engage in this behavior? How do you stop a child from running out into the street with heavy traffic?

Punishment is done in anger. Discipline is done in love. My children were spanked after we had a conversation about what they had done and why discipline was required. They knew we never took pleasure in spanking, and spanking was always done in self-control. If we were angry we would walk away and think about the situation and how best to handle it. Discipline would be administered once we had calmed down. When the crying was over our children were hugged, told they were loved, and asked if they understood why they had to be spanked or had a privilege taken away.

People say there is no instruction manual for raising children, but there is. It has been around for centuries. it is the Bible, the Word of God, and when used properly, it yields good results, albeit sometimes later in life. Following are the verses that talk about children. By the way, I use the KJV because it sticks to the original meaning of the original manuscripts. Words evolve and change their meanings over time. If you think you can’t understand the KJV, read it slowly to get the context. Often the verse explains itself by using different words in the same sentence to convey the correct meaning. If you still have trouble I would suggest Vine’s or Strong’s Concordance, both of which are available online and in most downloadable Bible programs.

First of all, I would suggest reading (and studying) the entire book of Proverbs. It is filled with contrasts between good sons and wicked,foolish, and evil sons (generic for people). There are 31 chapters of Proverbs, one for each day of the month. (I know some months have less than 31 days.)

I would also recommend reading Psalm 119:9, 11, Jeremiah 17:9, and Genesis 6:5. Genesis 6:5 explains why God destroyed the earth by flood and had Noah build an ark.

I have taught Sunday school for many years and even the children of church-going parents act up and disobey. Trust me, talking is futile. And I have NEVER seen a toddler who would listen to talking,nor a pre-teen. Kids will test boundaries. They need to know there are some.

Life comes with consequences. No consequences while growing up means the child won’t be able to cope with consequences in the workplace either wihen he grows up. Intelligence has nothing to do with it.

When we were in Germany the military had their own programming on TV. One day there was a slot where an interviewer was talking to four or five children on a playground. The interviewing was asking them if they believed their parents loved them. The first interviewees all said no, because there were no rules and they could do whatever they wanted. They felt their parents didn’t care about them or what they did. The last little girl was on a swing. Her answer was different. She said she knew absolutely that her parents loved her. The interviewer asked what made her so sure. Her reply: “Because my parents have rules for me and sometimes I get a spanking when I disobey. They do that because they love me and care what kind of person I grow up to be.”

We have two grown children. Our son was, for the most part, our compliant child. Our daughter was the wild, rebellious one who didn’t care what kind of discipline she received, she was going to do whatever she pleased. For most of her adult life (thus far), her life has been a train wreck, but she always knew she could talk to us. She always knew we loved her. She has turned her life around, given herself back to God, and both of our kids tell us they are glad they had us for parents. I hear the same scenario from other parents around the globe who believe in discipline (not punishment).

One more thing: threatening is a waste of time. Say what you mean; mean what you say. Don’t threaten to spank, ground, etc. if you don’t mean it. They know when you are lying. Also, be consistent. I always had a hard time remembering what I said so I made a chart: backtalk gets this consequence; definace gets this; disrespect gets this: etc. The kids knew what to expect because it was posted. It kept me from losing control, and it kept me consistent.