Florida Drivers Licenses

These are some licenses that, if issued, might help alert, law-abiding drivers better navigate Florida’s roadways, especially when driving through towns and cities.

DEB: Don’t Engage Brain (Before Getting Behind the Wheel)
MCRC: My Car is a Race Car (the zippity-do-dah driver who likes to play how-close can I squeeze between vehicles while passing)

IBFT: I Brake (in the middle of the middle lane or far lane) For Turns (the ones on the other side of the road that I’ll miss if I don’t stop here) This driver knows, of course, that the driver rear-ending the vehicle in front is the one that will get the ticket.

TSTD: Too Scared To Drive. This driver drives at least twenty miles under the speed limit, rarely passes another vehicle, and stops ten feet behind the vehicle in front of him (or her, gender is not an issue with any of these) at traffic lights.

YIMMD: Your Inconvenience Makes My Day. It’s the attitude that says, “I don’t care how much my driving inconveniences you; it’s my life and I’ll do what I want.

MOOMW: Move Out Of My Way. Actually, I saw this in Boston too, at the round-abouts. People getting on the round-about from a spoke come flying onto the circle as if they didn’t expect there to be any traffic in their path.

DD: Dare Devil, similar to zippity-do-dah

IDAMOP: I Drive At My Own Pace, similar to TSTD and YIMMD

MOOMW also includes drivers who will run you off the road to get in your space in that lane. They don’t want to pass you; they want you off the road.

YMINAP: You Mean It’s Not Automatic Pilot? This is the person who thinks the car should drive itself while the driver texts, puts on make-up, takes notes and reads the document that is to be presented at the meeting he/she is running late for.

Be careful out there, folks. I have personally seen many of these things happen. I know for certain it is by God’s grace alone that my husband and I have not been involved in any serious accidents as we watch drivers stop in the middle of the middle lane (there are three) because the left or right hand turn they want to make is just a scant few feet ahead of them and they will miss it if they don’t stop. I have seen drivers scoot in front of two lanes of traffic to get to the other side of the road to get to their turn-off. Hello, Go to the next intersection or traffic light and make a U-turn, people. It’s not rocket science. Where you need to be isn’t going to move. If you don’t value your own life, at least think of the other drivers on the road. Please.