10 More Rules For A Happy Marriage

There are so many things that are necessary to build a strong relationship.  Each one is vital if the relationship is to stand the test of time and troubles.  And troubles will come, whether through illness, death of a child or parent, becoming a full-time caregiver to a family member, etc.  If the relationship isn’t built on a solid foundation it will crumble and leave ruin and destruction behind that may never recover.

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  1. Never let the sun go down on your wrath.  In other words, don’t go to be angry.  Resolve issues before trying to sleep.
  2. No yelling. The louder the communication the more the other person’s ears close to what is being said.
  3. Once words are spoken they can’t be taken back. Think about what you want to convey before speaking.  Words can create emotional scars that last a lifetime.  Speak what is true, in love.  If you are too angry to speak calmly and rationally, go for a walk, calm down, and think about the issue, not the person.  Don’t attack each other.
  4. Do something nice for the other person, especially if you don’t feel like it. Do it without expecting something in return.  Do it out of love and a desire to make peace.
  5. No manipulating. Genuine love does not manipulate, try to control the other person, demand to be in charge, nor does it seek revenge.  Read 1 Corinthians 8:4-8a.  This is a perfect description of what love (charity in the KJV is actually a stronger word because charity is like deliberately seeking ways to improve someone else’s life without expecting any kind of recognition or reward).
  6. Put the other person’s feelings and well-being before your own. Instead of arguing over who should get to choose the activity, or who should get the last piece of pie/cake/dessert, be willing to graciously offer it to your spouse, no matter how badly you want your way.
  7. Don’t be afraid to apologize (and mean it). It is a sign of character and strength, not weakness.
  8. Ephesians 4:32—“And be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. If we want God to forgive us, what right do we have to hold back forgiveness? Matthew chapter 6 tells us that if we refuse to forgive someone, neither will our heavenly Father forgive us.  God will remove His blessings if we refuse to forgive. Your children are watching how you handle difficult situations. What example are you giving them? Leave the past behind.  You can’t change it.  Move on, and don’t let it fester and raise its ugly head in the future.  Your enemy, the devil, Satan, roams about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.  Don’t let him destroy your home, relationships, etc.  Your battle is not with flesh and blood, even though the problem seems to be with the other person.  Satan is just using the conflict for his own purposes.  You can choose not to let him win.  Ephesians 6:10-18
  9. Your children are watching how you handle difficult situations. What example are you giving them? Leave the past behind.  You can’t change it.  Move on, and don’t let it fester and raise its ugly head in the future.  Your enemy, the devil, Satan, roams about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.  Don’t let him destroy your home, relationships, etc.  Your battle is not with flesh and blood, even though the problem seems to be with the other person.  Satan is just using the conflict for his own purposes.  You can choose not to let him win.  Ephesians 6:10-18
  10. Start dating again.  Once a week or once a month, ask a relative or close friend to watch your children for an hour or two and go to a favorite place for dessert.  Buy one milkshake and get two straws.  Or one banana split and two spoons.  Have fun with each other.