Waiting For The Next Hospital Run

How are in-laws supposed to feel when, as an outside addition to the family, a loved one develops a health condition that has the whole family helping that loved one when he/she is home, and running back and forth to the hospital when that person is not well enough to be home?

My energy is sapped; my ambition to do anything is gone. I have no interest in reading, writing, or much of anything else. I want to do things that allow my mind to be numb: play solitaire, watch TV programs that don’t require much attention. Reruns are good. But I shouldn’t be the one feeling this way. I need to be strong for my husband, and the others who spend much more energy and time than I in taking care of this person. I want to cry but it’s not fair to the immediate family.

It is a source of joy to me that I am allowed and able to contribute to her care when she is home, and am able to take care of her house when she’s in the hospital. I have no regrets except that (guilt, guilt, guilt) my life is on hold because I’m doing for her.

Lord, I hope my tears are not for myself.

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10 thoughts on “Waiting For The Next Hospital Run

    • lovessiamese says:

      Thanks, Rose Red. Really appreciate the prayers. Just praying God will do whatever is best for my sweet mother-in-law. I know He will, but hate to see her so frustrated.

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  1. lovessiamese says:

    Thanks, Dawn. She had diverticulitis sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. They operated, cut part of the bowel, put her on antibiotics and she came home with a colostomy bag. She was okay with that. Her grandmother (who raised her) wore one for the last 15 years of her life. The home health nurse came to bring fresh supplies once a week or so. We all learned how to change the bag if it leaked or once a week if it didn’t. She was feeling confident. Toward the end of Feb. she was supposed to go in and have reversal surgery. It didn’t go well. She came home with an iliostomy bag (supposed to be temporary over the belly button). The surgeon (who is very good, very meticulous) is still thinking reversal surgery once the bowel is healed. But she has very little appetite, is nauseous, can’t seem to keep medicine or food down. Went back into the hospital yesterday a.m. Dr. found another infection in the bowel. This time they’ll keep her until she can keep solid food down. She is so frustrated with the whole business, and it doesn’t help that the 22nd was the 3-year anniversary of her husband’s passing. She’s every bit as frustrated and grouchy as I would be if I were in her shoes, but she’s a wonderful mother-in-law. Thanks for praying. It really means a lot.

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    • Dawn says:

      I feel sorry for your Mother-in law. That is a painful condition. I have been reading about GMO foods, and how they can play havoc with intestines, and cause a lot of damage. I can relate to this, because my nephew is only 19 years old, and has had about a foot of his intestines removed. He has had a lot of infections and pain. He is so young. My husband has diverticulitis too. He stays away from seeds and grainy breads. He eats high fiber, and drinks a lot of liquids. I also heard that people with intestinal problems should eat organic foods only, and regularly cleanse the colon and liver, eat yogurt for good bacteria, and should also do a colon cleanse that will remove parasites. It might help others who are struggling with problems like this? So many are having this trouble. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hope she will recover soon, and be feeling well.

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      • lovessiamese says:

        Thanks, Dawn. It has been a roller coaster ride: take her to the hospital, bring her home. She seems to do okay when in the hospital, but quickly lapses into dehydration and other maladies when home. The doctors say she can eat regular food (minus seeds, whole grains, etc.), but after a few bites she feels nauseous and won’t drink anything for fear of bringing it back up. She started out at 150 lbs and is down to 114. Her legs look like toothpicks. My oldest sister-in-law has been down twice this month to spend some time and try to help out. None of us really knows what the solution is, and her insurance will ony cover a 4-day stay in hospital. We’re hoping we won’t have to put her in a nursing home. None of us really wants that. Thanks for your prayers. They are much appreciated. God bless.

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      • lovessiamese says:

        Thank you so much, Dawn. I am drained. Have lost interest in many things (not church or God, though). She was in hospital again last week. This time when they released her they put her in rehab because she won’t drink enough liquids or eat enough to keep hydrated. They discovered a fungul infection in her espophagus, which is caused by vomiting, which is caused by nausea, which is caused by the fungul infection. It’s a vicious cycle. They have prescibed medication for her. We are all praying that it helps. Please keep praying. Thank you so much for your friendship and faithfulness. I’m trying to push myself back into the art of living without my sole focus being on the ill. God bless.

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      • Dawn says:

        My prayers are with you and your mother-in-law. Thanks for the update. So sorry that her health has not improved yet. I pray her doctors would treat her condition correctly, and that she would experience God’s healing touch. He is the Great Physician. I also pray that if any treatment is causing her harm, that it would be blocked, and that only what is good for her would be done. And, I pray for her comfort, and your strength and encouragement. May God bless you!

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