Disclaimer: not all health problems are the result of the things mentioned in this post, but the things mentioned here will cause health issues at some point in your life, if you don’t take the remedy. Even if you do take the remedy, it may not heal the health issue.
Steps to ulcers, heart disease, mental illness, and a host of other diseases:
1) Keep an account of every slight, every wrong ever done to you, and by whom
2) Dwell on them. Let them fester.
3) Be sure to pay back in kind.
4) Never let anyone who has slighted you forget how they hurt you.
5) Keep people at arms length; don’t let them get too close. Don’t open yourself up to hurt.
6) Gossip. Be sure to tell everyone you know how so-and-so treated you, even if it was years ago.
7) Don’t just give the facts when gossiping: expand the details to make them more juicy. Remember, you’re feeding them verbal poison.
8) Never let yourself forgive.
9) Don’t let yourself take any responsibility for what happened. Nothing is ever your fault.
10) Give yourself regular pity parties. You deserve it. You owe it to yourself. Don’t forget to worry over everything that might go wrong, or that may happen in the future. You never know when the past will come back to bite you.
Two of my relatives engaged in these behaviors. My mom could hold a grudge with the best of them. Sometimes she would get to thinking about things her older sister had done to her when they were growing up. Or she would start thinking about some spats she’d had with her father. She would fret and stew about it for days, work herself into a rage, and go on a three-day rampage, daring any of us in our family to get in her way. My mother was also a world-class worrier. She felt responsible for anything that ever went wrong in the world or in our family, although aloud she blamed everyone else. One night while she was at work she noticed, as she was putting up ice cream, that the ice cream freezers had been unplugged. She wasn’t the one who had cleaned them so she wasn’t the one who had unplugged them. Nevertheless, she worried herself into a heart attack, afraid she’d lose her job. She never left the hospital. She had three subsequent strokes, the last one shortly after her 64th birthday.
My aunt (my father’s sister and the wife of my mother’s brother) hated my mother and me because of the fights my parents used to have before they divorced. She hated everyone except her husand. She tolerated her kids, but really wasn’t too thrilled with them either. She died in a nursing home of Alzheimer’s.