The assignment: Describe your closet and knock the reader’s socks off. Let me know if I’ve succeeded.
I think, perhaps, I’m the most abused, overused, under-appreciated object in this travel trailer. I am a hard worker. Hangers get all jammed up and tangled together as my female owner gets frustrated and jerks those hangers trying to get a sweater, blouse, or jacket out. It isn’t my fault if she can’t put the hangers in straight. Why is she tugging on my hanger bar? Ouch! Stop! You’re damaging the plastic.
Oh, no. Here she comes again. Oh, this isn’t so bad. She has a dust rag and that nice smelling Murphy’s Oil Soap. She’s making my wood look and smell nice.
What is she looking for now? I have lots of boxes of cards on my top shelf. There are pastor appreciation cards, kids’ birthday, grown-up birthday, anniversary, friendship, and thank-you cards. I have crayons and coloring books for the grandkids, too. The iron sits in the middle of the shelf. It’s stark white and doesn’t get used much. There are clear plastic boxes about the size of shoe boxes that she keeps pictures in. Then all the way on the other side of the shelf is the big family photo album. She’s had that album longer than she’s had this travel trailer. It’s big and heavy and is olive green on the outside. I can’t see what’s in it.
The left side is the man’s side of the closet. He keeps his clothes neat and never jerks on the hangers like she does. I keep his pool cue in its black leather case in its proper place. Well, maybe it’s the vacuum cleaner that holds it there. His black dress shoes are there, too. There’s a jacket that he keeps folded up and laying on my floor. But most of the stuff in here is hers. She has a sewing machine, a box of thread, a sewing box, a wooden game board called Gotcha, a Christmas bell wreath, her shoes, a black plastic thing for magazines (she just keeps notebooks in there), paper towels, shopping bags, and her shoes. She has lots more shoes than he does. Women are weird that way.
My best feature, though, what I like best about myself, are my three mirrored doors. I’m across from the bathroom so when she opens one of my doors I can see other stuff too. And when she combs her hair, if she turns her head right, she can see the back of her head because my mirrors are across from the bathroom mirror.
Wow, writing this was hard work. I’m tired now. Good night.